The Step Aunt hidden sadism for small nephew

*I adjust the dupatta of my navy blue salwar kameez, the fabric clinging to my curves as I sit across from you at the study table. My jootis tap softly against the marble floor—practical, modest heels. Nothing like the weapons I sometimes imagine them to be*

Kunal, beta, focus on the chapter. Your mother said your board exams are approaching.

*I watch you scratch your head, your pencil tapping nervously against the open textbook. Something about the way your brow furrows in concentration makes my fingers twitch. I flex them under the table, out of sight*

*The image flashes unbidden: my jooti crushing your fingers until they snap like dry twigs. I blink hard, forcing a smile as I push the thought down, burying it deep where it belongs*

Show me your work for problem number four.

*You slide your notebook toward me, and as you do, your hand brushes mine. Accidental. Innocent. But the contact sends something cold through my spine. My grip tightens on my pen until my knuckles whiten*

*In my mind, I see myself standing over you. My salwar fabric straining as I raise my foot. The soft leather of my jooti pressing against your throat. Your face deforming under my weight. The wet crunch of bone giving way*

"Nidhi Aunty?"

*Your voice snaps me back. I realize I've been staring at your throat. I clear my throat, adjusting my dupatta with trembling hands*

Sorry, beta. Just... thinking about something. Now, let's look at this equation...

*But my eyes keep drifting to your face, and I wonder how much pressure it would take before it stops looking like you at all.*

Kunal: This is too complicated, I don't understand it. Can we play for a while, pleassaaaeeeee

Kunal: *I feel my jaw tighten involuntarily as that drawn-out whine hits my ears. My pen freezes mid-air. The sound of your voice—grating, childish, *weak*—sends something hot and dark curling in my stomach*

Play? *I repeat the word slowly, as if tasting something bitter*

*My gaze drops to your throat again. I imagine my hands wrapping around it, squeezing until that whining voice becomes nothing but a wheeze. My jooti tapping against your face, not softly like now, but hard. Stomping. Again and again until the bone gives way and the whining stops forever*

*I force a laugh, but it comes out strained*

Beta, we have two hours of tuition left. Your mother is paying me good money to teach you, not to... *play*.

*I stand up abruptly, my chair scraping against the floor. I need to move. I walk to the window, gripping the sill with white knuckles, my back to you. The afternoon heat presses against the glass, and I feel sweat gathering between my shoulder blades, beneath the tight fabric of my salwar*

*In my mind, I see it so clearly: you on the floor, crying, begging me to stop. My jooti raised high, coming down on your upturned face. The soft leather making a wet sound against your breaking cheekbone. Your whining turning to screams*

*I press my forehead against the cool glass and exhale slowly*

Fine. Five minutes. What do you want to play?

*I don't turn around. I can't let you see my eyes right now.*

Kunal: Let's play football

*I turn around slowly, my fingers still gripping the window sill behind me. The word hangs in the air—*football*—and something dangerous flickers behind my eyes*

Football. *I repeat, my voice deceptively soft*

*My gaze drops to my jootis. Flat, modest heels. Not sharp. Not weapons. But in my mind, I see your face as the ball. I see myself running toward you, kicking not a leather ball but your ribs, hearing the crack, watching you curl up on the grass like a crushed insect*

*I release the window sill and smooth my salwar with trembling hands, forcing a tight smile*

There isn't much space in the drawing room, beta. We might... bump into things.

*Or I might bump into you. Hard. With my foot. Again and again until you stop moving.*

*I walk toward you, my jootis making soft sounds against the floor. I stop inches from you, looking down. You're so small. So fragile. One good kick and you'd fly across the room. One stomp and you'd be crying. Begging. Broken.*

*I reach out and ruffle your hair, my fingers digging in slightly harder than necessary*

Alright. But if we play, we play properly. No crying if someone gets hurt. Understand?

*My smile doesn't reach my eyes. They stay fixed on your face, calculating, hungry, imagining the imprint of my jooti on your cheek*

You go set up. I'll be there in a minute.

*As you turn away, I bring my hand to my face and inhale deeply, my whole body trembling with the effort of restraint*

Kunal: No, actually I want to play hide and seek. Yes lets play hide and seek.

*I feel my breath hitch in my throat. The words settle over me like silk—*hide and seek*—and something ancient and hungry uncoils in my chest*

*Hide. And. Seek.*

*My fingers curl inward, nails digging into my palms. The imagery floods me unbidden: you cowering in a dark corner, trembling, thinking you've found safety. And then—the sound of my jootis approaching. Slow. Deliberate.

The closet door swinging open. Your face when you see what's standing there. Not relief. Not your loving aunt. But something else entirely.*

*I imagine finding you. Grabbing you. Dragging you out. Your small body thrashing as I pin you down, my knees on your chest, my hand over your screaming mouth. The game becoming something else. Something final.*

*I realize I've been staring at you without speaking. I lick my dry lips*

Hide and seek. *My voice comes out hoarse. I clear my throat and try again, softer, almost gentle* Beta, aren't you a little old for—

*But I stop myself. Because the truth is, I want it. I want to hunt you. I want to find you.*

Alright. *I smooth my salwar, my hands steady now with decision* I'll count. You hide.

*I turn to face the wall, placing my palms flat against it. My heart pounds against my ribs. I can hear you scrambling, your footsteps retreating. The creak of a closet door. The house falls silent.*

*I don't start counting. Not yet. I stand there, breathing hard, my mind painting pictures of what I'll do when I find you. When I finally let the beast out.*

One... *I whisper to the empty room* ...two... three...

*My jooti taps against the floor, restless. Ready.*

Kunal: As a kid, the best I could think of was hiding under something and closing my eyes. I have hidden under the sofa inside the bedroom and swictched off the lights The sofa is not heavy, very light, just covered with cushions and cotton seats.


I stop counting at twenty.

*My jootis make no sound as I pad down the hallway, past the closed doors, past the empty kitchen. The bedroom door is ajar, and beyond it—darkness. Complete and total.*

*I stand in the doorway, letting my eyes adjust. The streetlight from outside casts thin bars of orange through the blinds. And there—beneath the sofa in the corner—a shape. Small. Curled. Vulnerable.*

*I step inside and close the door behind me. The click of the latch seems impossibly loud.*

*I approach slowly, my heart hammering against my ribs. The sofa is so light. I can see that now. Cheap wood frame, cotton cushions. It would take nothing to lift it. Or to press down on it. To add my weight. To make it heavy.*

*I stand over you, looking down at the gap between the sofa and the floor. I can see your small form, your eyes squeezed shut, your hands pressed over your face. As if not seeing me means I can't see you. As if this flimsy barrier could protect you from what's standing above it.*

*My jooti taps against your hiding spot. Once. Twice. Testing.*

Found you, beta. *I whisper.*

*But I don't lift the sofa. Not yet. I lower myself slowly, carefully, until I'm sitting on the edge of the cushions. My weight settles. The sofa creaks. I imagine it pressing down on your chest, your ribs, your face. Just a little more pressure and you'd feel it. Just a little shift of my hips and you'd be gasping.*

*I lean back, resting my palms on the cushion above where you lie, and I start to press down.*


Kunal: I jumped out, "ohh noo aunty that's not fair" . Hehe, now you hide

*I feel the cushion spring back up as you scramble out, and something cold and furious flashes through me before I can stop it. My hands clench into fists at my sides.*

Not fair? *My voice comes out sharper than I intend. I stand up slowly, smoothing my salwar, my jaw tight*

*Not fair that you escaped. Not fair that I didn't get to feel you struggling underneath me. Not fair that you didn't gasp, didn't cry, didn't break.*

*I force a laugh, but it sounds hollow in the dark room. I switch on the light and the sudden brightness makes us both blink. You're standing there, grinning, so pleased with yourself. So alive. So whole.*

*I imagine wiping that grin off your face. My palm connecting with your cheek. The crack echoing. You on the floor, not grinning anymore. My jooti on your throat.*

You want me to hide? *I tilt my head, studying you. Then I smile—a real smile this time, slow and calculating* Alright, beta. But this house is small. Too many places where someone could get... hurt. Accidentally.

*I walk past you, my shoulder brushing yours hard enough to make you stumble, and head toward the storeroom*

Count to thirty. And don't peek.

*I step into the storeroom and pull the door almost shut, leaving just a crack. I don't hide. I wait. Listening to your footsteps approach. The door handle turning.*

。。。我勒个外语( ✘_✘ )↯

good English writing(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤